#OlehProblems: Pokemon Cards

I saw kids playing with Pokemon cards. I told them that they were over 10 years too late. One kicked me in the shin. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Speaking Hebrew

I would yell at the people who always cut me in line at the supermarket, but I don't know how to say it in Hebrew. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Lining Up

in America everyone is given there own space or "bubble" while waiting in line at a super market. In Israel I consistently get a guy behind me in line at the supermarket breathing down my neck and touching my back. So much for space!!! Does Israeli's ever feel like this works to getting through the line faster?????#needmypersonalspace #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Deportation and the Misrad al Hapnim

I went to Misrad HaPanim one day in September to sort something out.
There was an Austrailian woman in front of me in line who was telling the woman behind the desk that she wants to extend her work visa before it expires in October. The woman behind the desk said ""I can give you an appointment in November"".
Aussie: ""but my visa will be expired by then. I may get deported.""
Woman behind desk: ""you won't get deported. There is no other time before then. Goodbye""

I am so sure on October 2 that Aussie was deported straight back to the outback. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Security

I never knew Israelis were so eager to go through security at the Tachana in Jerusalem. It is so reassuring to be pushed and shoved in security lines. It's truly inspiring to see how eager Israelis are to prove they are bomb-less. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Lines

I was waiting in line to get a Rav Kav when a woman cut the line claiming she needed to go into one of the offices to just ask a quick question.
Ya ok if a quick question means walking out with a new Rav Kav then mission accomplished. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Being on Time

I sent an email to a potential Ulpan on February 13.
I received a reply April 11 beginning with ""sorry for the late response""

Oh no biggie. It's not like an entire new generation came into being during that time. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Minimum Wage

Minimum wage is 22 shek an hour.. i may as well be selling chicklets on the street corner in mexico. #beingbroke #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Making Aliyah

I am a student in Israel, I wanted to make Aliyah my first year studying, but I was told by numerous people including the army itself that "ain sikuy" that I can push off service till I finish my studies. I later found out that I could have, now I have been in Israel too long to get all the benefits I wanted and I am broke practically homeless and I need to pay for my last year in college #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Books

I love to read, I used to read a book a week. Now I can't afford it, libraries are horrible and I don't want a kindle. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Arnona? More like Ar-NO-NO

I had to go and sort out my arnona, so I googled the building in order to find it easily. I woke up at 7am so I would be first in line. I went and the building wasnt there. I asked around, found out that it used to be there and then went to the new building. I got there, turns out I didnt have a form I needed. I went home and got it. I came back. I needed my roomates information too, so I said okay, i'll call them and fill it out. The lady says "no, they need to fill it in". I said: "what does it matter, either way i'm gonna step outside, call them and fill it in myself" Her response "okay, but don't come back to my desk after". I filled in the info, took a new number, annd then I got sent back to her desk. She then covered her ass by pretending I wasn't there two minutes ago and finished with me. Basically it took me four hours to do something that should have taken 5 minutes and had to pretend like i was never there. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Misrad al HaPnim

They refuse to give me a TZ even though I have been approved by every agency including Misrad Hapnim, simply because the lady behind the counter didn't like my proof of Judaism letter...resubmitted all the paperwork to Jerusalem, its been 3 weeks, still havent heard anything back...#MisradHapnim #olehproblems 

#OlehProblems: Jet Lag

Oh my... this time difference... im so tired.

#travelingproblems #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Crossing the Street

I spent my spring break back home in Canada where the people are nice and considerate. I came back today and went grocery shopping. On my way home I crossed the street. The car coming towards me was pretty far away so I assumed he would stop... well he sped up and just went around me going very fast. It was scary. Drivers are the enemy, not terrorists. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Going Back to Israel

Don't get me wrong, I love living in Israel.. but theres just something really depressing about leaving a first world country and going back to Israel and to know that everything is going to be complicated, and that I will not see a real line up for the next year. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: It's Something

I lived in Tel Aviv for a year and noticed that there are just shoes littered throughout the city so I thought I would be a 'true Israeli' and put my old hiking boots on the sidewalk.

A day later I passed where I placed my shoes and found them still sitting there, but missing their shoelaces...#olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Golani

When you served in Golani but got released before all your friends because you are an oleh. The new Eyal Golan album comes out and you ask all of your friends what they think of it. They tell you they haven't heard it yet and you realize they succeeded in turning you into a bigger ars than they are because you got it the day it came out. #GolaniProblems #arseproblems #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Doggy Doo-Doo

why can't I walk outside without constantly having to be on lookout for dog shit... #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Shady Gas Dealings

I rented a car and went to a gas station. I tried to use my American debit card to pay for it, but it was denied. So I had to run around the entire mall in Ashdod trying to find an ATM which I finally did. When I got home I checked my bank statements and discovered that the gas station took $110 from me. Apparently it did work. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Taxi Drivers

Not so much and #olehproblem, but it's still in the general scheme of things; my mom (and family) came to visit me while I was in the army and they went to Yad Vashem and I was going to meet them at Har Herzl. So they finished their day at Yad Vashem and asked the Cab driver if he culd take them to Har Herzl. He drove down the driveway to Har Herzel and snagged 40 shek from my mom. #shadycabbies #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Allergies

Me: my nose is stuffed and my ear has pressure in it. Pharmacist: Congratulations, you're allergic to Israel! #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Other Countries

When you go to another country and get major culture shock when you cross the street and aren't terrified of getting hit. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Orange

When you order any sort of service through Orange and you need to talk to 7+ customer support representatives before one of them is smart enough to capture the issue and fix it within five minutes, meanwhile wasting hours and years off of your life due to their incompetence #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Speaking Hebrew

I am in the army and last weekend before we went home, my mefaked said that we are getting mekustaret and I got all excited... My firend beside me had to explain to me the difference between "mekustaret" and "mekupelet", I thought we where getting chocolate... #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Mefakdim

When your mefaked calls you a Cocksinelle and you don't know what it means. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Languages

When you live in a poor neighborhood where everybody has Hebrew as a second language. The only problem is that your first language is English and theirs is Russian. #russianproblems #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Air Raid Sirens

you are home alone when the air raide siren goes off, and for some reason you are the only person in the entire country who didn't get the memo that it was only a drill. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Golani

When you served in Golani and you go visit America and you find yourself asking your friend for a favor followed by "capara on you"#golaniproblems #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Miluim

When you go back to america to visit and get a tzav for miluim while youre gone but there is no one to tell you, oh and you forgot to tell miluim you were leaving. You land at ben gurion and the military police are there to arrest you. In sadir you were so tzahov you never got even a shabbat. In miluim you get jail. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Miluim

When you go to miluim and realize you forgot all the hebrew you once knew. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Drinking Problems

You buy six big bottles of water for 12 shek; you buy one small bottle for 6 shek. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Arsim

When arsim are behind you in the line at the falafel place. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Shabbas

I don't live in tel aviv. I wanna go to tel aviv on the weekend and go to the beach, and galavant through the streets. The taxis are way to expensive, so im stuck in this whole I live in because busses don't run on saturday. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Bus Drivers

I was on my way to a friend's apartment in Givat Shmuel but from where I live it's a bit complicated - she told me she lived off Jabotinsky so I put that address into Moovit and when Moovit gave me Jabotinsky - Ramat Gan, I assumed that's what she meant (after all Givat Shmuel borders on Ramat Gan - they must be the same). Boy was I wrong - the driver practically kicked me off the bus in the middle of Ramat Gan and I had to call her in a panic to figure out where I was going. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Air-Conditioning

how is it that from the first time the sun comes out after the oh so "brutal" Israeli winter, every place that you go in doors has the air conditioning blasting like its the middle of August. I have to carry a sweater around just for when I go inside. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Driving

whenever I'm driving here I'm always afraid to run people over...everyone here likes to wait for the bus by standing in the street to see when the bus is coming#olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Business Hours? What Business Hours?

the working hours in israel are just stupid and annoying. why don't they just have a set time in which they open and close. not open break for 2 hours close, or even better, lets just not open on a random day of the week. Oh and yes israel thank you for making it so convenient to not only have these ridiculous hours, but lets make all the hours different for each institution. so if they want to go to the post office than bank...oh no they have to now wait. thank very helpful for my everyday life to arrange my day around their working hours. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Lining Up

I was at school one day in the printing room of the Library. The lines were long and i was waiting patiently. After about fifteen minutes of waiting it was finally my turn. Then suddenly some asshole cuts me in line. I yelled at him, he didn't care. The person next to me says: "kaha ze b'israel". So, i guess only the strong survive. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Speaking Hebrew

I've been told the key to learning hebrew is to immerse yourself in it. Well I go to IDC, the only time I use hebrew is in the cafeteria. I'm proud to say I can officially order my lunch in fluent Hebrew. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Girlfriends

I need an Israeli girlfriend so that my Hebrew can improve, but Israeli girls don't like dating lone soldiers... #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Bike Riding

I I love to ride my bike in Tel Aviv but because of the fact that NO ONE pays attention to the bike lanes I am forced to obnoxiously ding my bell a million times #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Taglit

I always hate walking in Jerusalem next to the taglit groups. I'm always afraid that the Israelis will think i'm one of them. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Customer Service

Recently my internet had been cut off, not knowing why I contacted HOT. As soon as I call the machine asks for a language preference, I press 3 for English... 10 minutes on hold... customer service answers. Only speaks in hebrew, I ask for english... hold for 20 minutes... again customer service in hebrew, I ask for english, "please hold-" I stop her and continue in my broken hebrew. I owed them 20 shekel... #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Speaking Hebrew and the Internet

Bezeq shut off my internet. I don't know why. I called them to try and sort it out. No one there speaks english. I still don't have wifi... I'm using my iphone hotspot. I wonder how orange is going to try and fuck me over on this one. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Bus Riding

I am a good Canadian boy, but there is something about the rush of catching a bus at the Tachanat Hamerkazit that makes me do terrible things to get a seat #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Crossing the Street

I hate it how the pedestrian crossing's are not lined up or have no organization. In a normal country you cross a 6 lane street in one go. In Israel you have to stop like 6 times on the way across. It doesn't make sense to me. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Rainy Days

How is it that every-time it rains 1mm in Israel, the puddles are the size of lake Wisconsin #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Movies

I love movies. I like going to the theatre. But, why can I not go to a movie in this country without having a bunch of 13 year old arsim yelling the entire time. #olehproblems

#OlehProblems: Netflix

Netflix doesn't work here...#olehproblems

OlehProblems: Merchants

A couple years ago, I was in Jerusalem for my first time with a few friends from our kibbutz. As I was walking down the streets of the old city I saw a store with cheap shirts inside and just peaked in to take a look. The next thing I know some guy is already yelling at me about buying something. I guess he was really determined to make a deal. I told him I was just looking but he kept pushing me for the sale.
His words exactly- "" I give you great deal"", .. ""this is the best quality cotton in all the middle east""... "" Don't be so jewish!!""...Just to shut him up I bought the shirt. Next day it ripped and broke""So much for best quality.. Should have stuck my first intention. #olehproblems